When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
