chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
