Do you still have your period?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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