if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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