yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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