just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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