How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
