if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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