So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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