Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
