Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
