CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
so much tequila, so little girl.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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