I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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