Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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