well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
