I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
