dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
