my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
