scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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