He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize