I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
