it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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