i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
