But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
