How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Randomize
