I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
