You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
