when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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