mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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