College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
