oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
