The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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