If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
