So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
