Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
