I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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