i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
