Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
