Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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