The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
