you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
