I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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