I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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