i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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