He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
