I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
