Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I puked a lego.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
