Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
