Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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