I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
