I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
