Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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