Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
