she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
