Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
