Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
